Author: The Joseph Craven

I'm tall, but not so tall that people point and stare.
Craven On....

Sleep

The human body is a funny and fragile thing. No matter how many preventative measures are taken, a person can still be killed by a wide variety of things: vehicles, falling rocks, animals, explosions.

Just normal, everyday things.

Normal, everyday explosions

Even simple things can kill you if you have too much of them. In particular, these things are food, water, air, and sleep.

Too much food causes you to have a heart attack. Or possibly pop.

Too much water will cause you to drown in it. Or possibly pop.

Too much air will totally make you pop.

Too much sleep means that your brain stops working. And while scientists haven’t proven it, it’s probably likely that it’ll make you pop.

But there are considerably less things in life that will kill you if you DON’T get enough of them.

In particular, those things are food, water, air, and sleep. Continue reading “Sleep”

Lazy Post

Another Story At Another Blog

I work in communications. I work for a school. I communicate for that school.

Sometimes, I get to tell cool little stories about friends of mine who do cool little things. And now I’m going to share a cool little story with you cool little kids.

When students Jim Strickland and Liz Glaser started training for a marathon in August, neither of them expected it to end quite like it did.

The two ran on behalf of Samaritan’s Purse, a disaster relief charity that Liz’s mother works for. When they finally neared the finish line, Jim dropped to one knee as family members unrolled a banner that said “Liz, Will you marry me?”

“I freaked out,” Liz recalls. “I kept asking, ‘Are you serious?’ I am pretty sure that was the first thing I said.” Continue reading “Another Story At Another Blog”

This Is What Happens

My Younger Brother Is No Help

There’s one thing you should know about me: I’m the third child in a family of four boys. All boys, my friends. Good times were had.

There’s another thing you should know about me: I have ADHD. And unless you have it, you don’t fully get what it’s like to have it. Living with ADHD is an EXPERIENCE.

But you know what makes that experience more entertaining? Living with three brothers who also have ADHD.

Let me tell you a story. Continue reading “My Younger Brother Is No Help”

Craven On....

Space Jam

For each generation, a select few movies come along that extend beyond the screen. They impact not just film, but culture itself.

The Birth of a Nation. The Jazz Singer. Citizen Kane. Star Wars. The Blair Witch Project. Film critics laud these films for their massive impacts. Huge influence.

For the generation that was born in the late 80s, the second most monumental film (behind Jurassic Park, of course) was Space Jam, a film so important, the internet still holds onto the original website.

Also featured the ability to airbrush interest onto MJ's face

Continue reading “Space Jam”

Lazy Post

Search Terms ‘n Stuff

Work for me is fairly chaotic at this time of year, which is why you’re seeing a lot of guest posts and lazy posts on Fridays as of late. Basically, the less effort I have to put into a Friday post, the better for me professionally.

But in those moments where stress is piling up, I know I can always turn to the list of absurd search terms that have led people to this site. For those of you who run blogs, you know just how entertaining they can be.

In my case, people typically get to my site by searching for information on tyrannosaurus rex. Either that, or it’s people purposefully using terms that say how much they hate me. Thanks, Amanda Bast!

And now, I’d like to share several of my favorite search terms with you, exactly as they were written. Continue reading “Search Terms ‘n Stuff”

Craven On....

The Curious Case of Brian Wilson

In celebration of No Shave November, The Greatest Blog Of All Time presents a series on facial hair.

This final No Shave November post might confuse you.

It is not about the leader of The Beach Boys, although his story certainly could be talked about in detail. At one point, he was considered to be on par with Lennon and McCartney as far as song writing goes. He wrote about surfing. But it’s cool, cause they wrote about holding hands.

It is not about a Barenaked Ladies song. Although, that could be worthy of a post as well. The subject of the post would be “Why did they try to cram so many words into each line of the song?”

(Side note: That song came out in 1992. Do you feel old?)

It is not about sports, although it is about a sports figure.

No, this post is about a man you may not recognize. His name is Brian Wilson,

Slight douchebag

….but you may know him better like this:

Slight difference

Continue reading “The Curious Case of Brian Wilson”