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Jared Lorenzen: True American Hero (On AGSH)


: not allowing something (such as water or light) to enter or pass through

: not bothered or affected by something


February 14, 1981. A proud 13 pound baby enters the world. It is a world with too many rules and limitations. Though he couldn’t have known it then, this child would challenge those limits; challenge our expectations. His impact, though we try to avoid it, is too grand to just disappear.

He has been called many names. The Hefty Lefty. The Abominable Throwman. Fatty Fat McFatstacks. Yet when the puns about his weight run out, there’s only a few adjectives left that truly match what Jared Lorenzen has embodied throughout his life:

Inspiration. Hero. Impervious.

To read the rest of this truly inspiring story, head over to A Good Sports Hang! While you’re there, be sure to check out posts from all the great AGSH authors. Also follow AGSH on Twitter for all the sports updates you never really asked for.


I like sitting on rooftops whenever I get the chance. If somebody invited me to a rooftop, I would consider dropping everything I was doing at the time to join them just because I enjoy it.

I guess I’m a sucker for a good view. There is something about a good view that is very humbling: to stand atop something tall and soak in the awe and majesty of seeing more of the world than we were able to see from the ground just minutes earlier. For maybe even just one second, until our attention spans prevent the majesty of the moment to continue inspiring us, we take the focus off of ourselves.

It wasn’t always this way for me. The love of being high above things, I mean. When I was much younger, I was so afraid of heights that I refused to climb on the playground monkey bars that these days I’m actually taller than. I still remember the day where my friends Mark and Dustin told me to just suck it up, so I did, and we all three climbed up and sat there and soaked things in. My life changed at that very moment. Now, instead of always being afraid of falling, I had a thirst to climb to the top and soak everything in.

I never looked back from that moment. Rooftops. Mountains. Ladders. Balconies. Glass elevators. I can’t get enough of being above things. Read More…


Excuses and reasons,
And now ’tis the season
for all that I never got right.

All that I’ve got is tonight.

The weather refuses to feel like winter. It lingers in its uniquely awkward southeastern style, sitting somewhere between cool and warm and looking overall depressing. It’s like visiting Seattle, but if Seattle was less depressed and more bipolar.

I sometimes wish that Mississippi had seasons other than “Hot” and “Not as hot”, but there is some bit of charm to be found in the few weeks we try to pass off as Autumn. The roads are accented with the bright reds and yellows of the leaves in their brief colorful time. But their struggle isn’t just against the very small amount of time the weather gives them to show off. It’s  a struggle to be seen at all as they are buried behind the persistent evergreens.

Evergreens. So many of them here, keeping December green. Living year round. Read More…

I Don’t Eat Fresh

I really hate Subway. Well, I think I do.

My major dilemma is that I like to keep my sandwiches simple. Of course, that’s the easy cop-out to admitting that I’m a picky eater. I’m much less picky than I used to be, that’s for sure, but I still can’t bring myself to enjoy lettuce or tomato. And the longer I live, the more I realize that lettuce and tomato are often the most necessary accessories on a sandwich.

Because of this, I learned to really enjoy sandwiches that don’t require lettuce or tomato. You know, like a Cuban or a nice pastrami on rye. All you really need on then is some mustard. It’s simple. Which maybe really is my reasoning behind things. Or maybe my denial of being a picky eater is so strong that I’ve convinced myself that simplicity is the reason. Read More…

Time To Celebrate

The thermometer in The Brick tells me it’s sitting firmly at 32 degrees, just barely freezing, and there are speckles of frost on the grass of my front lawn, reflecting the moonlight which is a reflection itself, all of which corroborates the story. I’m not sure why I’m awake right now.

Well, I do know why. I know that I wanted to go out to the pub down the street to enjoy a celebratory drink, since the semester is ending. By all appearances, it’s the last semester I will actually be teaching, so I might as well celebrate, right? Except it’s a Tuesday, so none of my friends want to go with me and it’s slow and barren at the bar itself. So it’s me, a friend, and several strangers who by the end of the night will at least be acquaintances. I’m drinking a Guinness and wishing so badly it was a Kilkenny, but we don’t get that around here. Read More…

YNPA Live From The North Pole!

CLICK HERE for YNPA Live From The North Pole!

In this episode of You’ll Never Podcast Alone, the boys break down the World Cup groups and feel really proud of the way they pronounce Bosnia-Herzegovina. They also talk about what some of the teams in the Premier League would love to find in their stockings.

Also, you can totally subscribe to all of the Running Out The Clock podcasts over here on iTunes.