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The Greatest Adventure Of All Time

We need heroes. We need those larger than life personalities that we can get behind. People we can root for. That face challenges and overcome them. It’s what we want, it’s what we need.

Heroes are not born. They are created. Sometimes it’s by trial. Sometimes it’s by hard work and success. Sometimes it’s by loss.

And sometimes, they are created through a handy character creation tool on games such as Final Fantasy XIV.

Sometimes you're even allowed to drop a character in his skivvies and really confuse him

Sometimes you’re even allowed to drop a character in his skivvies and really confuse him

Read More…

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808’s and Heartbreak

Chased the good life my whole life long
Look back on my life and my life gone
Where did I go wrong?

I have a theory about humanity. It’s a theory I developed over the past few months and I’m feeling pretty confident about it. But it could be wrong. Either way, I’m going to tell you about it.

But first I’m going to talk about Kanye West. Read More…

How to be a Southerner: Know the Weather, vol. 1

Joseph and I have decided it’s time to educate folks on how to be a Southerner.  Here’s a helpful post on how to be just that.

Weather is a fact of life.  When I was in public school, I learned that there were 4 seasons – Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring.  Living in the South, I’ve learned that what I was taught in public school about the weather* was not true.  In the South, we have 2 seasons – Summer and Winter.  Summer usually lasts for anywhere from 46-50 weeks and winter lasts anywhere from 2-6 weeks.  This is helpful for anyone who is interested in the South to know, because if you come here, you will know you need to pack as if you’re either staying for a few days on the Hoth system or if you’re planning on going directly to the sun.  Whatever your fashion magazine says about Spring or Fall trends is irrelevant, unless you want an entire wardrobe you can wear for all of about 15 minutes.  So keep that in mind.

Read More…

My Migraines

This is an unpublished draft from 2011 that I’ve now edited and uploaded. Fun stuff!

Years ago, I discovered something interesting about my body: it hates me.

It wants me to fail. It wants me to never actually be proud of any sort of appearance or accomplishment. It apparently thinks this is funny.

It could be the layer of gut that never fully goes away, no matter how much effort is put into getting in shape. It could be the countless minor allergies I have that are never life threatening, but prevent me from ever feeling what most humans call “healthy”. It could be the fact that my tiny, disproportionate ankles get rolled so frequently that we call them Brankles (broken + ankle, kids).

Or it could be the fact that I get migraines when I over-exert myself. In other words, my head wants to rupture when I actually try to do stuff. Fantastic. You can take your pick as to what stands out, but to me, this is the main example of how my body goes out of my way to keep me humble. Read More…

Jared Lorenzen: True American Hero (On AGSH)

im·per·vi·ous

: not allowing something (such as water or light) to enter or pass through

: not bothered or affected by something

Lorenzen

February 14, 1981. A proud 13 pound baby enters the world. It is a world with too many rules and limitations. Though he couldn’t have known it then, this child would challenge those limits; challenge our expectations. His impact, though we try to avoid it, is too grand to just disappear.

He has been called many names. The Hefty Lefty. The Abominable Throwman. Fatty Fat McFatstacks. Yet when the puns about his weight run out, there’s only a few adjectives left that truly match what Jared Lorenzen has embodied throughout his life:

Inspiration. Hero. Impervious.

To read the rest of this truly inspiring story, head over to A Good Sports Hang! While you’re there, be sure to check out posts from all the great AGSH authors. Also follow AGSH on Twitter for all the sports updates you never really asked for.

Rooftops

I like sitting on rooftops whenever I get the chance. If somebody invited me to a rooftop, I would consider dropping everything I was doing at the time to join them just because I enjoy it.

I guess I’m a sucker for a good view. There is something about a good view that is very humbling: to stand atop something tall and soak in the awe and majesty of seeing more of the world than we were able to see from the ground just minutes earlier. For maybe even just one second, until our attention spans prevent the majesty of the moment to continue inspiring us, we take the focus off of ourselves.

It wasn’t always this way for me. The love of being high above things, I mean. When I was much younger, I was so afraid of heights that I refused to climb on the playground monkey bars that these days I’m actually taller than. I still remember the day where my friends Mark and Dustin told me to just suck it up, so I did, and we all three climbed up and sat there and soaked things in. My life changed at that very moment. Now, instead of always being afraid of falling, I had a thirst to climb to the top and soak everything in.

I never looked back from that moment. Rooftops. Mountains. Ladders. Balconies. Glass elevators. I can’t get enough of being above things. Read More…

Evergreen

Excuses and reasons,
And now ’tis the season
for all that I never got right.

All that I’ve got is tonight.

The weather refuses to feel like winter. It lingers in its uniquely awkward southeastern style, sitting somewhere between cool and warm and looking overall depressing. It’s like visiting Seattle, but if Seattle was less depressed and more bipolar.

I sometimes wish that Mississippi had seasons other than “Hot” and “Not as hot”, but there is some bit of charm to be found in the few weeks we try to pass off as Autumn. The roads are accented with the bright reds and yellows of the leaves in their brief colorful time. But their struggle isn’t just against the very small amount of time the weather gives them to show off. It’s  a struggle to be seen at all as they are buried behind the persistent evergreens.

Evergreens. So many of them here, keeping December green. Living year round. Read More…