Misplaced Mississippian, Real Talk, Storytelling

Eternity Will Smile On Me

I never said I was honest
I never said I was honest
But I am true
And I am true

I know that my tweets are sad and you’ve probably noticed. I’ve said a LOT via social media in the past week or so. But it’s hard to really explain things in 140 character segments, so it only makes sense to write about it in detail. So here it goes.

I’m Joseph Craven, and I want to be honest. I want to be honest about my struggle with depression. Continue reading “Eternity Will Smile On Me”

Real Talk

Block Out The Care

This post was written last week and posted last Wednesday. It was written as I was thinking about substance abuse and why people turn to escapism. Mainly, I was concerned with the fact that escapism doesn’t just get us far away from the things that bother us, it also removes us from the things we actually care about. It removes us from actually feeling anything at all.

Coming from a family that has backgrounds with addiction problems and all, this is a concept that I really felt like writing about and sharing. Given the tone of it all, though, at the time it was posted it didn’t seem right. It seemed like it needed a preface. So here’s the preface.

I feel like we all have escapes. Some turn to the drink. I can say I’ve done that before and it’s not worth it, so I don’t anymore. Some turn to stronger things. Me? I turn to music. I try to drown it all out so I can’t focus on what it is that I’m trying to escape from. But escapism isn’t a solution.

So anyway, here is what I wrote. Feel free to read on if you so wish. Don’t worry: I’m not about to kill myself or something, which is what I’m afraid the tone accidentally conveyed. Like everything I write, it is just written to try and make sense of things. Getting my thoughts on paper. You are never obligated to share in these thoughts, but I do appreciate the company. Thanks for your support, everybody. I pray that maybe someday we won’t feel the need to escape anymore. Until that day comes, you’ll likely find me in my headphones on, filling my world with music. Continue reading “Block Out The Care”

Misplaced Mississippian, Real Talk, Storytelling

Where I Begin

So I learned cut out the middle man. Make it all for everybody always.
Everybody can’t turn around and tell everybody, everybody already knows. I told them.
– Childish Gambino

One of my earliest memories is lying on the ground in my garage and crying. In fact, there’s a pretty good chance it IS my earliest memory.

My parents still live in the same house they have for the past 28 years, so I can go back to that garage any time I want to look at the spot where I lay flat on my back and cried. Not that I remember much, of course. I mean, that memory is me on the ground crying after slipping on a wet spot and hitting my head really hard on the concrete. I don’t recall how old I was. That’s probably understandable.

I like to jokingly blame a lot of things on that blow to the head. Like the weird huge bump on the back of my skull. Or the fact that I often get my words mixed up or jumbled together like I have some sort of speech impediment. Or my absent mindedness. But in all actuality, I got a kiddie-sized concussion and life moved on and it probably didn’t affect anything.

Other than, of course, the fact that one of my earliest memories is lying on the ground in my garage and crying.

Continue reading “Where I Begin”

HTBASF, Sportz

How To Be A Sports Fan: Support and Believe

This is another lesson in my HTBASF series. It is lesson 5 or 6, depending on where you list a lesson that is/will be posted on XtraBacon.com.

Always support. Always.

This entire post could probably be summed up just like that, but apparently I’m REQUIRING myself to wax philosophically for the next 1,000 words or so. I’m sorry in advance if this post isn’t quite as tongue-in-cheek as the previous HTBASF posts. I just feel like, with college football upon us now, this needs to be discussed. Here goes:

You want to be a sports fan? You want to ACTUALLY care for and support a particular team? Then be prepared to do just that.

Even if it means dealing with moments like this

Continue reading “How To Be A Sports Fan: Support and Believe”

Real Talk, Useless Observation

The Flip Side

I promise I don’t actually care how you feel about me, regardless of how it seems.

Look, I wrote last week about how I want to be all about community and openness and honesty and all that. Well this post is sort of the flip side of that, which is more openness and honesty than it is community. More about me than it is about you, I guess.

As much as I want to be about community, and I do, there’s an aspect of it that is still focused on me, and it’s hard for me to control that. Or rather, it’s hard for me to figure out if I need to control that. I mean, how much of it is healthy motivation and how much is some sort of selfish ambition, right? How much is genuine and how much is “selling out” (for lack of a better term)?

For example, why do I want so badly to write on this blog more? I’m awful at self-promotion because I feel really dumb trying to plug myself a lot. But at the same time I clearly want people to read what I write, otherwise I wouldn’t post this stuff on the internet. So I have to ask myself whether my writing is for my own benefit or if it’s really about building community or if it’s just so you will like me. But I promise I don’t actually care how you feel about me. Continue reading “The Flip Side”

FICTION Y'ALL, Sudden Writing Challenge

The Unusual Suspect

Here is what I wrote for the Sudden Writing Challenge that Ricky Anderson and I started up the other day. Click here for a full list of participants and the rules we set up for the challenge.

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“Okay Mr. Matthews, can you tell me what you saw?”

“You can call me Glenn.”

“I won’t.”

By this point, Lieutenant Jackson was tired and just wanted to go home. This was to be the last person he had to talk to today, and he knew already that this janitor wouldn’t have anything new to say. Nobody had gotten a good look at the suspect, they only knew that he was a man of average build who escaped to the roof and disappeared. There was no sign of a getaway vehicle and seemingly no lead to go on. Jackson only wanted to finish up and get home before his wife’s meatloaf was too cold to save.

“Mr. Matthews, I just want to finish up and get home before my wife’s meatloaf is too cold to save.”

“Well I’ll try to speed things along, but I’m sure you’ll have plenty of questions to ask me about it.” Continue reading “The Unusual Suspect”