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ROTC Live From A Secret Bionic Lab!

Here’s an episode of Running Out The Clock (yeah, we still do that thing!) where Chandler and I wrap up the 2013 college football season and it’s all very emotional. And also fairly short.

You can CLICK HERE to pull it up in a new window and you can ALSO find ROTC on iTunes and download it there! Isn’t that neat?


How To Be A Sports Fan: Recruiting Is King

Yeah, so this should probably have been written sometime during the spring or summer, but it rings true always: recruiting (fondly known to sports reporters in the south as “‘crootin'”) is the single most important thing any team can be good at.

Forget winning games. Forget stats. Forget that cool new black uniform your team just revealed. Recruiting is KING. Here’s Lesson 6 on how to be a proper sports fan: Treat ‘crootin as the most important aspect of any sport.

If not for ‘crootin, who would ever give THIS guy some love?

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Coming Up Short

It still makes me physically ill to think about. Four years later, and really the moment took all of two seconds. But whenever I recall it, my stomach turns and knots up and I want to puke.

I’m of course talking about a football game. One game. One play, in fact. One second in the sixty minutes that make up a football game that four years later still hurts. Read More…

HTBASF: Sports Hate

This guest post is brought to you by a new Twitter friend, Ben Zajdel. Ben is a graduate of the University of Texas at Dallas, works in a Christian bookstore, watches entirely too much basketball (PERFECTLY okay with me), and has written a few short books you might enjoy. You can keep up with him at his website, or on Twitter, @benzajdel.

I’ve been told my whole life not to hate people. It’s in the Bible, of course. It says there that hating someone is essentially like murdering them, or at least wanting to. My mom would scold me if I said I hated anything, including broccoli. Even my family doctor told me that hate was an ugly word when I informed him that I hated shots.

I understand their point of view. I don’t think I should dislike a person or a thing so much that it makes my chest burn, my eyes water, and my heart race. That’s obviously not healthy. I don’t advocate hating people, races, religious groups, politicians, cats, or Yankees fans, especially to the point of wishing them harm.

But there is something I call Sports Hate. It’s a little different. This type of hate doesn’t want to see anyone get hurt, or arrested, or any actual misfortune take place on a team or individual. This type of hate is much simpler, and a little less violent. When you Sports Hate a team or player, you just want them to lose. All the time. Sometimes it’s for good reason, like if they defeated your team in the playoffs the previous year. Other times it makes no sense whatsoever, and your hate simply springs from the way a guy cuts his hair. There are plenty of ways to develop Sports Hatred, and the longer you watch and play sports, you gain and lose some Sports Hate along the way.

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How To Be A Sports Fan: Support and Believe

This is another lesson in my HTBASF series. It is lesson 5 or 6, depending on where you list a lesson that is/will be posted on

Always support. Always.

This entire post could probably be summed up just like that, but apparently I’m REQUIRING myself to wax philosophically for the next 1,000 words or so. I’m sorry in advance if this post isn’t quite as tongue-in-cheek as the previous HTBASF posts. I just feel like, with college football upon us now, this needs to be discussed. Here goes:

You want to be a sports fan? You want to ACTUALLY care for and support a particular team? Then be prepared to do just that.

Even if it means dealing with moments like this

Even if it means dealing with moments like this

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The Heat Are Champs, The Spurs Are Ugly

So that sports podcast that my friend Chandler and I started? Well right below these words is episode two, where we talk a bit about the Heat winning it all, then Knox McCoy joins and we talk about ugly players, and then I mention baseball real quick and the episode ends.

See? Now you don’t even have to listen cause I just told you what happened. Crazy, how that works.