Category: Old Stuff

Links to all the old categories from GBOAT days long past

Craven On....

Nicolas Cage

Since the beginning of time, mankind has been on a search for a punchline: a universal joke that can be used in any and all circumstances and will always be found funny, regardless of relevance or timeliness.

According to the Internet, which serves as our dispenser of knowledge and truth, we have found that eternal punchline: the films of Sir Nicolas Cage.

Also the face, personality, and existence of Sir Nicolas Cage

Continue reading “Nicolas Cage”

This Is What Happens

My Smoking Car

People are just the worst, am I right?

We live in a world with no middle ground. Republicans and Democrats SURELY agreed on stuff at some point in time. They had to, otherwise this country would never have been founded. These days, you can’t say anything political without thirty people disagreeing with you or unfollowing you. Sometimes in real life. They just stop hanging out with you.

Or in Canada. You guys aren’t exempt. I mean, at some point in time, everyone must have loved teachers. Otherwise, you guys wouldn’t have gotten it right and actually paid teachers well. Now, people are upset that teachers get paid well? It’s like ordering a ham sandwich and then getting upset it isn’t turkey. Sorry, bad analogy. It’s like ordering poutine and getting upset it’s not peameal bacon.

That was the best I could do, and I’m very sorry.

Continue reading “My Smoking Car”

Guest Posts, Real Talk, The GBROAT

Waiting on a Hurricane

Waiting on a hurricane is a weird thing.

There’s this big, slow moving, dark cloud hanging over you.  The wind is blowing, the air feels…well…for lack of a better word, weird, and your pets are going nuts.  They can sense something isn’t quite right.

You keep hearing stories farther south of wind, rain, and the storm surge.

You check the weather, then the list of school closings, then the weather again, then school closings again, then…well, you get the idea.  And the whole time you’re hoping the news will have been updated in the last 30 seconds.

It’s like a nightmare you just can’t wake up from.  All you can do is wait. Continue reading “Waiting on a Hurricane”

Real Talk

August 29th

Seven years ago, everything changed.

I was just a 165 pound freshman in college who had barely been on campus for a week. College was new and scary and it felt odd to realize I was actually there. I didn’t know a single person at the school, and meeting all of these people was so incredible. But right when classes should have been getting underway, things were derailed massively.

I remember laughing at the RAs who ran out into the wind and rain to play tennis in the storm. I laughed even harder when they were chewed out for doing so. As things got worse outside and the power went out, I remember sitting around watching a movie on a laptop in the dorm lobby with about 50 people. We sat around in the dark with an acoustic guitar and a camcorder and jokingly sang “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” at the top of our lungs to pass the time since we could’t sleep. For us, it was just a powerless night to get through.

It wasn’t until the next morning when the truth hit. Continue reading “August 29th”

Real Talk

Motivation of Mercy (Repost)

(The following post was written at the end of last August. It marked the first serious post I ever wrote about anything ever, and my best post about mercy to quote the rapper Big K.R.I.T. all the way through it. With all that is going on in the world, and with my mind drifting back seven years to when Hurricane Katrina crept closer to this landmass between Louisiana and Mobile, it seemed better to me to revisit this post rather than produce something new today. I pray we will never take mercy for granted.)

Hope you understand what I’m going through
Hope you understand when I call out for you
To vent

I remember nearly everything about the sermon.

It was preached on August 14, 2011 at the 11 o’clock service at my church. It was about the Last Supper, which was notable because you don’t often hear a sermon on that and it not be close to Easter. It was a beautiful sermon. One that impacted me. One that I was really excited to tell other people about afterwards.

I remember it, though, because I remember thinking to myself that my pastor seemed to be particularly emotionally motivated by it, and noticeably emotionally drained by it. Continue reading “Motivation of Mercy (Repost)”