The GBOAT’s signature essays. Craven writes on particular topics you need to learn about.
We all learn at some point that life isn’t fair.
There’s a moment in which something monumental happens that shakes the way we view things. Maybe it’s something serious, like a car accident. Maybe it’s just the realization that sometimes you work hard but still come up short. It just happens.
For Richard Ashcroft and myself, that realization came in 1997.
People say that baseball is boring. People say that steroids have ruined the game. People say it is their least favorite sport. People say that the players are just awful, unlovable monsters.
You may have seen this by now. You may not have. Either way, we’re on it now.
Personally, when somebody told me about it, I didn’t believe it. I just KNEW there was no way that we, as people, could allow this kind of behavior. There’s no way that humanity could just take a backseat to complete and utter disregard of reason.
No, I’m not talking about any riots going on anywhere. I’m obviously talking about the movie Battleship. Continue reading “The Ruining of the Classics”
A lot of people don’t realize that post on The GBOAT often aren’t about things I hate. In fact, a lot of them cover things that I am not only fine with, but actually enjoy.
I’m fascinated by people who do Parkour. I’ve wasted countless hours playing Call of Duty. Daniel Woods may be a big stupid doodoohead, but we still hang out all the time.
You see, GBOAT posts aren’t expressions of hatred by any means. They’re just the way I see things. I don’t understand why we have to study King Louis VIII, so I write about that fact. I don’t understand the huge fuss over Google+ (nor do I understand rhyming), so I write about that.
But I don’t hate either of them. I’m still on Google+, and last I checked, I’m still beheading my wives so I can move on to new ones.
The same applies to baseball. Being a huge sports fan, I like baseball. But I don’t actually love baseball.
But what I do love about baseball is spreading lies about the game.
In this second essay in a three-part series on baseball, I will share with you a few lies about baseball that I try to pass off as truth. Continue reading “Baseball, Pt. 2”
There is a stretch of time during the summer where a good amount of sports fans die. This stretch is called “baseball season”, and it occurs whenever football and basketball have all ended, and the only thing television is baseball.
Daniel Woods is a terrible person. Probably the worst. I’m not exaggerating. He’ll admit it.
I can get away with saying that. You can’t. It’s the same concept as being able to make fun of my home state because I live here and love it, but as soon as an outsider does the same, I’m throwing punches.
I can say it, because Daniel knows that I WILL throw those punches for his sake. He knows I’ve got his back at all times. He also knows that I think he’s the worst.
I had already planned a post about how awful Daniel Woods is. Then he told me that because his birthday is in August, he felt he deserved a post about him. This is the type of person he is.
So allow me to tell you about my best friend: the douche bag Daniel Woods. Continue reading “My Best Friend Daniel”
Your Friend Joseph Craven Welcomes You To The GBOAT 