Life With Tabs, Ep. 1

The GBOAT is proud to present the first episode in the webseries Life With Tabs.

Tabs loves you. A lot. She just doesn’t know how to express it.

And now for a brief serious note, okay? Okay.

It’s been a few months since I’ve genuinely cared about my friends. That’s just being honest. I was getting so frustrated at times with ALL the people in my life, I stopped caring like I should have. Then, everything cracked and broke open and I was instantly surrounded by so many who care for me greatly, even though I was the worst to them. Wow. I can’t even begin to understand any of that.

You see, I was afraid of being hurt by those I cared about. Any sort of relationship involves the potential of being hurt. C.S. Lewis wrote about that fact. And for some time, I avoided loving and being vulnerable to those in my life. Not anymore. Thankfully, not anymore.

The reason behind that is simple: there is one relationship that will never hurt. It will never disappoint. And when our hope is fully in THAT relationship? It makes all other relationships manageable. It makes even the vulnerability and love needed to care about anyone possible, because my security is wrapped up in God. I can care about those people in my life again because I care MORE about the one relationship that can’t disappoint me. I can love, and I can love WELL, and walk away satisfied in all of that regardless of the outcome.

I’ll write in more detail about this sometime, but I’m reminded of the time I broke up with my college girlfriend and was a total jerk about the whole thing. I let the relationship die, and frankly, I should not have been forgiven for how I mistreated her. Yet, years later after she was engaged to some much better dude, we had a chance to visit for a while. When it was time for me to go home, I went to say goodbye (seeing her for likely the last time) and went for a casual, friendly side-hug. Instead, she fully embraced me and said, “Hey, I love you, man.” At that moment, as I cried like a little child at the sight of this mercy I didn’t deserve after a series of actions I regretted, I understood the Gospel. I understood that vulnerability and forgiveness are possible with a soul firmly rooted in Christ. Amen and hallelujah!

You know that old stupid Tennyson quote, “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” I’m about the farthest thing from a romantic person you can get and maybe I should work on that, but I think this quote should hold a special place in the heart of a Christian. You see, it’s better for us to pour ourselves into our friends and loved ones, being vulnerable, and running the risk of being hurt my them. Always. It’s better that we truly try to do all we can for them at all times, whether they will ever return the favor. “A life of self-renouncing love is one of liberty”, and that liberty comes from resting in the PERFECT relationship.

I can say that in the past, I have done that. I have loved. I have often loved poorly, and I have sometimes loved well. And pretty often, I have been hurt. But the ONE thing I will NEVER say is that at the end of it, I regretted any of it. I rest upon a perfect relationship that allows me to be hurt by people I love and continue to love them regardless. I loved people poorly, I loved people well, and through God’s grace, I will love people again.

Have a great weekend, everybody.