November is a special month. Along with some awesome, awesome posts about facial hair in celebration of No Shave November, The GBOAT is also featuring a collection of guest posts on Fridays.

Last week, Stanton Martin provided what appears to be an inarguable history of sports.

Today, we welcome Knox McCoy, A.K.A. somebody who actually knows something about sports but still wants to be funny about it.

A.K.A. stands for Ambitiously Killed an Aardvark, which is a truly special accomplishment.

So football, right?

So good. I love it. You love it. Basically, everyone loves it except Europeans because they play the “real” version or something. Yeah. Good job guys. Fainting because some guy built like Clay Aiken grazed you with his celery stick thin legs is so BOSS. You totally deserve to be the real football. NO REALLY. I’ll tell people like Ndamukong Suh and Ray Lewis that they are such Streisands for being obscenely fast and strong and colliding with other massive, athletic human beings 100 times a game. I mean it’s like, go have a tea party, or watch Gossip Girl or something Ray Lewis.

Which brings me to the point of this post, which is about the state of the NFL today.

Essentially, the most compelling part about football today is the collisions. It’s hard-wired into our DNA to love body shots and it’s why America’s Funniest Home Videos is STILL on: because EVERYONE loves a good testicle tackle. Continue reading “The State of the NFL – Guest Post by Knox McCoy”

Craven asked me to write a guest spot for his blog, and so I figured I’d do my best to explain the origin of sports through the lens of His Story. That’s Christian talk for history.

I’ve often been accused of knowing nothing about sports, and I resent that, because I know dozens of things about sports. Drew Brees, Brett Favre, Smokey Robinson, these are all athletes. Well, two athletes and a musician, but Smokey sounds like more of a baseball name than Jackie to me. 

I think I’ve proven myself, and so I present to you: Sports – A Brief History. Thank you, thank you. 

For as long as there have been men, there have been balls– and guys kicking them around. Sports. I’m talking about sports.

The sports of the primitives were such classics as hunting mastodons, building civilization, and impregnating women. If you weren’t good at these things, you didn’t get traded to a lesser team, you didn’t lose your contract; you didn’t end up marrying a Kardashian– you died. Life was a lot more in your face like that about things back then. Continue reading “Sports – A Brief History”