Video Breakdown: Battlefield Earth Trailer

Movie trailers are supposed to make people WANT to see a film.

There are people who actually put trailers together for a living. Trailer Guys are tasked with taking some of the best clips from an upcoming film and putting them together in a 2-minute long package that intices people. Makes them think, “MAN! I can’t wait for that particular film to be released, because judging by the trailer, it is everything I look for in entertainment!”

You have to think it’s a pretty sweet job overall. But sometimes, movies come along that make these people hate their jobs. These movies are so bad, that not even the trailer can be redeemed. And keep in mind, a trailer has the ability to take a two hour long movie and cut it down to barely anything. They can take out all the bad parts.

But in some cases, such as with Battlefield Earth, there just aren’t any GOOD parts.

Continue reading “Video Breakdown: Battlefield Earth Trailer”

Craven On....

SOPA

Imagine a website where all information in the world is easily accessible by all people at all times. Oh, and also editable and therefore sometimes pretty much wrong.

That’s Wikipedia, the beautiful, and sometimes grossly inaccurate encyclopedia of the Internet. With just one website, somebody can quickly and successfully access whatever information on whatever topic they could ever be interested in!

Just try to name one other website that allows you to find information on the internet so quickly and efficiently.

Alright, alright, we get it.

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Real Talk, Sportz

Rooting For Dragons

Dear fellow cynics: congrats! We landed a huge blow this past weekend when some silly little football team lost a game. We finally won!

Don’t worry, this post isn’t about Tim Tebow. This post isn’t about his Christianity or the fact that he’s more open about it than 90% of us want him to be. It has nothing to do with whether or not he could be a professional quarterback. Who cares about that? He’s one dude, barely older than I am, and has plenty of time to figure all of it out for himself. Not my problem.

This post has everything to do with us, and the fact that all of us were just waiting for him to fail. It has everything to do with the fact that we have become so hardened and cynical that we can’t stand the idea that somebody could be THAT good of a person. Sure, he goes out of his way to use his celebrity status to help people, so surely he can’t be a good football player as well, right? He can’t have it ALL.

Nobody is that good. Nobody is that clean. Nobody is that heroic. And surely we can’t be wrong about this. We HAVE to be right, even at the cost of innocence.

Heroes? Heroes are dead.

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Guest Posts

About Schmidt

Oh, Schmidt! If you’re not watching New Girl on Fox, then you’re missing out on one of TV’s best new characters: Schmidt.

If you’ve had more than five guy friends in your life, chances are you’ve known a Schmidt. Sure, perhaps his Bar Mitzvah theme was not Sports Jams, maybe he wasn’t even Jewish at all, and it’s a safe bet he probably wasn’t afraid of a cat raised by birds that lived on the roof of your building, but we’ve all known a douchey brohan with a heart of gold. Continue reading “About Schmidt”

Craven On....

Flying

There is an old saying that goes, “If man were meant to fly, he would’ve been born with the ability to catapult himself 30,000 feet into the air at 600 miles per hour.”

Yet since the beginning of time, people have been fascinated by flight. Early myths included tales of people who gained the ability to fly. And just like all early myths, those people screwed up horribly and it ended up being a super depressing story.

KidIcarusG-Front — Later turned into super fun video games!

Continue reading “Flying”

Lazy Post, Useless Observation

Pre-programmed Responses

Around 90% of the time, when somebody asks how you’re doing, you respond with something along the lines of “Good”, right? It’s the cultural answer, and it’s been programmed into our brains.

But it’s not the ONLY question where we have a pre-programmed answer, right? There must be other questions that when asked, you can quickly pull out an answer that you have rehearsed.

“What do you do for a living?”

“Where are you from?”

Stuff like that. You don’t actively think about how you’re going to respond. You just blurt out words.

How do we reach that point? Simple: we train ourselves. We program these responses into our own heads, so that as soon as the question is asked, we can pull the answer out and not think about it.

I tend to do this with really stupid things. Continue reading “Pre-programmed Responses”