Category: Real Talk

Misplaced Mississippian, Real Talk, Storytelling

Eternity Will Smile On Me

I never said I was honest
I never said I was honest
But I am true
And I am true

I know that my tweets are sad and you’ve probably noticed. I’ve said a LOT via social media in the past week or so. But it’s hard to really explain things in 140 character segments, so it only makes sense to write about it in detail. So here it goes.

I’m Joseph Craven, and I want to be honest. I want to be honest about my struggle with depression. Continue reading “Eternity Will Smile On Me”

Real Talk

Block Out The Care

This post was written last week and posted last Wednesday. It was written as I was thinking about substance abuse and why people turn to escapism. Mainly, I was concerned with the fact that escapism doesn’t just get us far away from the things that bother us, it also removes us from the things we actually care about. It removes us from actually feeling anything at all.

Coming from a family that has backgrounds with addiction problems and all, this is a concept that I really felt like writing about and sharing. Given the tone of it all, though, at the time it was posted it didn’t seem right. It seemed like it needed a preface. So here’s the preface.

I feel like we all have escapes. Some turn to the drink. I can say I’ve done that before and it’s not worth it, so I don’t anymore. Some turn to stronger things. Me? I turn to music. I try to drown it all out so I can’t focus on what it is that I’m trying to escape from. But escapism isn’t a solution.

So anyway, here is what I wrote. Feel free to read on if you so wish. Don’t worry: I’m not about to kill myself or something, which is what I’m afraid the tone accidentally conveyed. Like everything I write, it is just written to try and make sense of things. Getting my thoughts on paper. You are never obligated to share in these thoughts, but I do appreciate the company. Thanks for your support, everybody. I pray that maybe someday we won’t feel the need to escape anymore. Until that day comes, you’ll likely find me in my headphones on, filling my world with music. Continue reading “Block Out The Care”

Misplaced Mississippian, Real Talk, Storytelling

Where I Begin

So I learned cut out the middle man. Make it all for everybody always.
Everybody can’t turn around and tell everybody, everybody already knows. I told them.
– Childish Gambino

One of my earliest memories is lying on the ground in my garage and crying. In fact, there’s a pretty good chance it IS my earliest memory.

My parents still live in the same house they have for the past 28 years, so I can go back to that garage any time I want to look at the spot where I lay flat on my back and cried. Not that I remember much, of course. I mean, that memory is me on the ground crying after slipping on a wet spot and hitting my head really hard on the concrete. I don’t recall how old I was. That’s probably understandable.

I like to jokingly blame a lot of things on that blow to the head. Like the weird huge bump on the back of my skull. Or the fact that I often get my words mixed up or jumbled together like I have some sort of speech impediment. Or my absent mindedness. But in all actuality, I got a kiddie-sized concussion and life moved on and it probably didn’t affect anything.

Other than, of course, the fact that one of my earliest memories is lying on the ground in my garage and crying.

Continue reading “Where I Begin”

Real Talk, Useless Observation

The Flip Side

I promise I don’t actually care how you feel about me, regardless of how it seems.

Look, I wrote last week about how I want to be all about community and openness and honesty and all that. Well this post is sort of the flip side of that, which is more openness and honesty than it is community. More about me than it is about you, I guess.

As much as I want to be about community, and I do, there’s an aspect of it that is still focused on me, and it’s hard for me to control that. Or rather, it’s hard for me to figure out if I need to control that. I mean, how much of it is healthy motivation and how much is some sort of selfish ambition, right? How much is genuine and how much is “selling out” (for lack of a better term)?

For example, why do I want so badly to write on this blog more? I’m awful at self-promotion because I feel really dumb trying to plug myself a lot. But at the same time I clearly want people to read what I write, otherwise I wouldn’t post this stuff on the internet. So I have to ask myself whether my writing is for my own benefit or if it’s really about building community or if it’s just so you will like me. But I promise I don’t actually care how you feel about me. Continue reading “The Flip Side”

Misplaced Mississippian, Real Talk, This Is What Happens

My Brick

As we get older and life goes by, it’s easy to look back on moments that we thought were the worst points in our lives and laugh at them. We’ve lived more than we had then. We’ve seen more, and we understand more and more that both the best moments and the worst ones are still ahead of us.

Honestly, it’s what keeps us going. Even if there are awful moments waiting for us around the corner, we keep moving ahead because we know that something else, either good or bad, has to be ahead. We can’t tell if it’s the good or the bad, but we know it will be something new and something different. It’s what keeps us alive.

The other night, as I was driving around my city with much on my mind, I had to think back to a time that I felt was the worst I would go through, and how my Brick helped get me through.

Continue reading “My Brick”