The Battle For Masculinity

In celebration of No Shave November, The Greatest Blog Of All Time presents a series on facial hair.

Once upon a time, in a world much different from today, facial hair was regarded in a much different light.

Today, facial hair is seen as unprofessional. Dirty. Not so years ago. Years ago, it was actually respected.

If you were a man, you HAD facial hair.

Facial hair is the merit badge of a man. Does this mean that those who can’t grow facial hair aren’t as manly as those who can? Simply put: yes. Absolutely. No questions asked.

This view isn’t totally agreed with in modern times, however. The reason behind this?

The Battle For Masculinity.

Continue reading “The Battle For Masculinity”

Guest Posts, Sportz

The State of the NFL – Guest Post by Knox McCoy

November is a special month. Along with some awesome, awesome posts about facial hair in celebration of No Shave November, The GBOAT is also featuring a collection of guest posts on Fridays.

Last week, Stanton Martin provided what appears to be an inarguable history of sports.

Today, we welcome Knox McCoy, A.K.A. somebody who actually knows something about sports but still wants to be funny about it.

A.K.A. stands for Ambitiously Killed an Aardvark, which is a truly special accomplishment.

So football, right?

So good. I love it. You love it. Basically, everyone loves it except Europeans because they play the “real” version or something. Yeah. Good job guys. Fainting because some guy built like Clay Aiken grazed you with his celery stick thin legs is so BOSS. You totally deserve to be the real football. NO REALLY. I’ll tell people like Ndamukong Suh and Ray Lewis that they are such Streisands for being obscenely fast and strong and colliding with other massive, athletic human beings 100 times a game. I mean it’s like, go have a tea party, or watch Gossip Girl or something Ray Lewis.

Which brings me to the point of this post, which is about the state of the NFL today.

Essentially, the most compelling part about football today is the collisions. It’s hard-wired into our DNA to love body shots and it’s why America’s Funniest Home Videos is STILL on: because EVERYONE loves a good testicle tackle. Continue reading “The State of the NFL – Guest Post by Knox McCoy”

Craven On....

The Hubris of The ‘Stache

In celebration of No Shave November, The Greatest Blog Of All Time presents a series on facial hair.

P.S. Another ‘stache post bears mention of Movember, a campaign to help fight prostate cancer ‘n stuff. In particular, today we highlight the work of Jason Sweeney, who posts Manly Mustaches Of The Animal Kingdom every day.

It is CLEARLY recorded that the ‘stache is a very controversial topic. Just take a moment to think about what associations are made when you think about a ‘stache.

Hint: It’s ALWAYS a negative association.

It’s never pleasant. But it wasn’t always that way. The ‘stache was once on the verge of being the KING of facial hair.

Then, tragedy struck. Continue reading “The Hubris of The ‘Stache”

Guest Posts, Sportz

Sports – A Brief History

Craven asked me to write a guest spot for his blog, and so I figured I’d do my best to explain the origin of sports through the lens of His Story. That’s Christian talk for history.

I’ve often been accused of knowing nothing about sports, and I resent that, because I know dozens of things about sports. Drew Brees, Brett Favre, Smokey Robinson, these are all athletes. Well, two athletes and a musician, but Smokey sounds like more of a baseball name than Jackie to me.

I think I’ve proven myself, and so I present to you: Sports – A Brief History. Thank you, thank you.

For as long as there have been men, there have been balls– and guys kicking them around. Sports. I’m talking about sports.

The sports of the primitives were such classics as hunting mastodons, building civilization, and impregnating women. If you weren’t good at these things, you didn’t get traded to a lesser team, you didn’t lose your contract; you didn’t end up marrying a Kardashian– you died. Life was a lot more in your face like that about things back then. Continue reading “Sports – A Brief History”

Craven On....

The ‘Stache

In celebration of No Shave November, The Greatest Blog Of All Time presents a series on facial hair.

No topic in today’s society is as polarizing as the ‘stache.

No other individual fashion statement has generated as much disdain, then respect, then disdain over the years like the ‘stache has.

tom_selleck_01 — Once respected. Now feared.

And it’s also worth noting this month, because of the re-dubbing of November as “Movember“. People taking part in Movember grow ‘staches throughout the month for the purpose of raising prostate cancer awareness.

Please check out that site. It’s a good cause. Continue reading “The ‘Stache”

Lazy Post

Hey Guys, Remember What Happened Monday?

I wrote a really good post on Monday, so I’m excusing myself from writing anything today. But I will share a few things.

Before ANYTHING else gets said, I need to show you my new favorite YouTube channel. HowToDoAnythingTV is a highly informative channel that teaches you such great life lessons as how to put a glass bottle on a hard drive, and then how to subsequently remove said bottle from said hard drive.

Let’s take a look:

Continue reading “Hey Guys, Remember What Happened Monday?”