According to Wikipedia, Parkour is sometimes abbreviated as PK. This makes no sense. Some words really need to be abbreviated. Mononucleosis needs to be abbreviated. Nobody wants to have to go through life never having a more convenient way to talk about mononucleosis. Because when it comes up in conversation (which happens just ALL THE TIME) you’re stuck with a six-syllable word you have to keep repeating, and it just gets in the way. So some words just need to be abbreviated.

Parkour is not at all one of those words. It’s two syllables. It’s not even a confusing French word. You can take one look at it and guess how it’s pronounced. Abbreviating Parkour is like playing Monopoly and referring to Boardwalk as BW. Nobody does it. It’s impractical, and will get you sent straight to jail.

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Alan Grant was everything that we men should aspire to be. In a world full of characters like Rocky Balboa, Rambo, and [insert Sylvester Stallone character here], this may be hard to believe. But while he didn’t spend all of his time flexing amazing pecs like an action hero, he was proving his manliness in countless other ways. In particular, he was super smart, wore awesome hats, and hated kids. All things that men should do.

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Angry Birds is a video game that exists solely to remind us of the futility of life. Since it was released for the iPhone in 2009, over 12 million copies have been sold. That’s through the Apple App Store alone. 12 million people willingly paid a few dollars to hurl little wingless birds towards some pigs that look like they went rooting in the wrong sort of ‘shrooms.

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Imagine a big box. This box is available to everyone in the world. They are able to store things in this box and also see things that other people have stored in the box. This fact makes the box a fantastically powerful tool that revolutionizes communication and accessibility. This is basically what the Internet is.

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History is the study of things that have already happened. It’s basically like reminiscing, except it’s reminiscing about events that you had nothing to do with.

This is apparently important to people.

Important enough so that we are all forced to study it in school and remember people such as King Henry VIII. Keep in mind that this is a man who is most known for marrying a lot of women and creating his own branch of the Church just to marry more women.

Really critical to understanding how we got to where we are today.

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