Blogging

America was founded under the belief that everyone was created equal. Early Americans wrote all of these beliefs on papers, signed them, and then decided that this made them law that could be punished for breaking. Then, Americans decided to ignore the whole “equality” thing for a while.

“It’s cool, guys, I didn’t really feel like VOTING or anything”

After about 200 years or so, Americans actually reached a point where we believed people were equal. And even 200 years or so later, people were still very interested in writing things down on paper, which had finally become common for everyone to know how to do. This was important because Americans believed in something called “free speech”, a right that people have been trying to either defend or destroy ever since it was created.

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Foyers

The foyer is the single most important architectural concept ever created. Some would argue that such “great” achievements as the arch or the flying buttress had more historical significance, but some would be totally wrong in this instance. It is the foyer, such a simple concept, that proves to stand the test of time in terms of importance.

It is worth noting that in some areas of the world, particularly Eastern Canada, foyer is pronounced “foi-yea”, due to the disaster known as the over-Frenching of the area. This is normal for Canadians, whereas in America, only douchebags would ever say it as such. In America, it is simply, “Foy-yurrrr”. A simple pronunciation for a simple term, simple concept, and simpler way of life, which doesn’t strive to prove that it is better than anyone else, and also still thinks “Flying Buttress” is a silly name.

….heehee, flying BUTT

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Politics

Politics are a direct product of man’s sinful and fallen nature. It is the art of being different than other people and thinking you’re better because of it.

Exactly how people that pronounce “Bon Iver” correctly feel

Years and years and years ago, men all got along. They were all speaking the same language, hanging out with the same people, agreeing on the same philosophies, and things were just pretty ballin’. Then one day, they said, “Hey, we’re pretty awesome. I bet we could totally build a big tower and reach God ‘n stuff.”

God, naturally, wasn’t too fond of this whole statement, since it was people saying they were His equal, so he put an end to it by dividing the people. He did it by scattering languages, so people that could actually understand each other broke off and formed their own groups. Thus, people were divided.

“You know, Todd, I’m really starting to question how quickly we expected to get this done”

Languages can be overcome. If people had stuck around each other for long enough, who knows? Everyone could have become multi-linguial. But they didn’t. They saw the differences and decided to run off into their own separate corners of the world.

Thus, the birth of politics. Continue reading “Politics”

Cuisine

Cuisine is something you masticate to. Masticate, of course, means to chew. Cuisine, therefore, simply means food. See? Anything can be made to sound fancier than it actually is.

Such as “toilet” instead of “poop tank”

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Katamari

While the world of video games has always been defined by a wide-open world of possibility, nobody had ever thought, “Hey, what if that possibility was defined by TRIPPING ACID?” That is, until the introduction of the Katamari series.

Watch this intro video, then decide how badly you want to keep reading. Here’s a hint: it should be A LOT.

Excited? Of course you are.

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Sheep (Repost)

Due to a lot of busyness outside of the blogging world (I know, so lame right?) today is a re-post of an older essay. Nobody likes a re-post, but every now and then, one must be a little bit lazy.

Be sure to come back on Friday for a guest post from Mr. Randomly Chad.

There are only a few differences between dolphins and sheep.

The first is that one lives in the water, while one lives on land.

The second is that one is smooth and eats fish, while the other is wooly and eats grass.

And the third is that one is highly intelligent, while the other is considered to be one of the stupidest animals in the world.

"His job is eating. The rest of us are supposed to stare while he eats."

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