The Battle For Masculinity

In celebration of No Shave November, The Greatest Blog Of All Time presents a series on facial hair.

Once upon a time, in a world much different from today, facial hair was regarded in a much different light.

Today, facial hair is seen as unprofessional. Dirty. Not so years ago. Years ago, it was actually respected.

If you were a man, you HAD facial hair.

Facial hair is the merit badge of a man. Does this mean that those who can’t grow facial hair aren’t as manly as those who can? Simply put: yes. Absolutely. No questions asked.

This view isn’t totally agreed with in modern times, however. The reason behind this?

The Battle For Masculinity.

Continue reading “The Battle For Masculinity”

Guest Posts, Sportz

The State of the NFL – Guest Post by Knox McCoy

November is a special month. Along with some awesome, awesome posts about facial hair in celebration of No Shave November, The GBOAT is also featuring a collection of guest posts on Fridays.

Last week, Stanton Martin provided what appears to be an inarguable history of sports.

Today, we welcome Knox McCoy, A.K.A. somebody who actually knows something about sports but still wants to be funny about it.

A.K.A. stands for Ambitiously Killed an Aardvark, which is a truly special accomplishment.

So football, right?

So good. I love it. You love it. Basically, everyone loves it except Europeans because they play the “real” version or something. Yeah. Good job guys. Fainting because some guy built like Clay Aiken grazed you with his celery stick thin legs is so BOSS. You totally deserve to be the real football. NO REALLY. I’ll tell people like Ndamukong Suh and Ray Lewis that they are such Streisands for being obscenely fast and strong and colliding with other massive, athletic human beings 100 times a game. I mean it’s like, go have a tea party, or watch Gossip Girl or something Ray Lewis.

Which brings me to the point of this post, which is about the state of the NFL today.

Essentially, the most compelling part about football today is the collisions. It’s hard-wired into our DNA to love body shots and it’s why America’s Funniest Home Videos is STILL on: because EVERYONE loves a good testicle tackle. Continue reading “The State of the NFL – Guest Post by Knox McCoy”

Craven On....

The Hubris of The ‘Stache

In celebration of No Shave November, The Greatest Blog Of All Time presents a series on facial hair.

P.S. Another ‘stache post bears mention of Movember, a campaign to help fight prostate cancer ‘n stuff. In particular, today we highlight the work of Jason Sweeney, who posts Manly Mustaches Of The Animal Kingdom every day.

It is CLEARLY recorded that the ‘stache is a very controversial topic. Just take a moment to think about what associations are made when you think about a ‘stache.

Hint: It’s ALWAYS a negative association.

It’s never pleasant. But it wasn’t always that way. The ‘stache was once on the verge of being the KING of facial hair.

Then, tragedy struck. Continue reading “The Hubris of The ‘Stache”

Craven On....

The ‘Stache

In celebration of No Shave November, The Greatest Blog Of All Time presents a series on facial hair.

No topic in today’s society is as polarizing as the ‘stache.

No other individual fashion statement has generated as much disdain, then respect, then disdain over the years like the ‘stache has.

tom_selleck_01 — Once respected. Now feared.

And it’s also worth noting this month, because of the re-dubbing of November as “Movember“. People taking part in Movember grow ‘staches throughout the month for the purpose of raising prostate cancer awareness.

Please check out that site. It’s a good cause. Continue reading “The ‘Stache”

Lazy Post

Hey Guys, Remember What Happened Monday?

I wrote a really good post on Monday, so I’m excusing myself from writing anything today. But I will share a few things.

Before ANYTHING else gets said, I need to show you my new favorite YouTube channel. HowToDoAnythingTV is a highly informative channel that teaches you such great life lessons as how to put a glass bottle on a hard drive, and then how to subsequently remove said bottle from said hard drive.

Let’s take a look:

Continue reading “Hey Guys, Remember What Happened Monday?”

Craven On....

The Van Dyke

In honor of No-Shave November, The Greatest Blog Of All Time will feature facial hair related Wednesday posts. Just….deal with it, guys.

The most common problem with goatees is that no one actually knows what they are.

What comes to mind when you hear the word goatee? Probably this guy, right?

When was the last time you spotted a goat that had a really solid mustache? If the answer is anything other than “Never, because they’re known for the tufts of hair under their CHINS, not above their MOUTHS”, then you are just a liar.

billy-goat — LOOK AT HIM AND TELL ME YOU SEE A 'STACHE

Continue reading “The Van Dyke”