The Greatest Blog Of All Time is starting April off strong, with a solid post by the one and only Knox McCoy. Knox knows a thing or two about blogging and writing. Along with his own site, he is a founding member/patient of the TV Asylum, and also author of Jesus and the Bachelorette and A Manifesto About Manifestos: A Manifesto (10 Major Rules On Writing A Manifesto), both of which are guaranteed to change your life either in a good or bad way.
Today, Knox stops by to share advice to beginner bloggers. This is all advice that he has shared with me before, and YOU GUYS….it’s worth memorizing. Ladies and gentlemen….Knox McCoy:
Note: This is an April Fool’s post constructed entirely from sentences Knox McCoy wrote in emails to me. They were removed from context, then pieced together into….this.
YOU GUYS. Let’s just talk here. Let’s just be adults. I think I’m a really obnoxious person and it’s all coming to the surface. Axe murderer would be an upgrade for my rep. This is pretty much a perfect summation of my biggest fear.
A friend of mine swears by The Keat. That is simply fantastic. I ramble too. Everyone else sends me 6 word responses and I type 83 paragraphs and feel self-conscious. Call me old-fashioned, right?
I hate the term building a brand. That’s the one bad thing about the internet. It’s a delicate balance between trying to become something, and eye-raping everyone with every thought you’ve ever had ever. Geez. Expectations, you know? Put a ring on it.
You probably feel like you should write more because you have an actual voice and opinion on things that isn’t absolutely retarded like a lot of the other ones. This means you can’t complain about having to read stuff anymore ever again ever. UNDERSTAND?
Guess what? You guys are the best and brightest. You guys are what is good about America and God. If you were a movie, you would be Country Strong, but TOTALLY in a good way.
BE GOOD. BE AWESOME. KEEP WRITING. MAYBE READ SOME? THE END.
Done. Meaning ‘done’ in the future tense, not in the present tense.
I love that. UGH I LOVE THAT.
Maybe it doesn’t lead to anything and maybe it does, but give yourself a chance because funny people who are intelligent are in microscopically short supply. Poking fun at the things we do is pretty empty unless there’s a hopeful resolution. I LOL’d, meaning I Literally Origamied Lancelot.
Wise? Doubtful. Are we always creating some small kind of persona for ourselves or are we more real than that? I don’t know and my head hurts now.
Ok, here are my thoughts.
I live my life based on an idea that if it’s good enough for Buzz Lightyear, then it’s good enough for me. I think as a country, we’d be a lot better off if we all adapted that mindset. But that’s just me. I basically don’t exist apparently. Not an ounce. I loved it.
Holler at me if you have questions or second thoughts. I will verbally berate them out of you. It would be the greatest moment of either of our lives. Promise. I FEED OFF OF STUPID CONVERSATIONS. Mazel tov.
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN.
So what is your new direction going to be then?