Soccer is called futbol outside of the good ol’ United States, and that’s silly. Nobody is out there in South America referring to basketball as “Hoopball” or “Tossball.” Because of the multiple names, soccer is the most confusing sport in the world.
With the NBA season over, and only a meager 58,000 baseball games left to tide sports fans over until the fall, it’s important to take a look back and see what exactly we’ve learned from this season. Today, we focus on the Miami Heat.
Lesson 1: When Mario Chalmers is the hardest working player on your team, you’re screwed
Mario Chalmers isn’t exactly a household name. I’m pretty sure the Heat forgot he was on the team when they announced their 2010-2011 roster.
I have a lot of friends who don’t follow or understand sports. That’s why I exist. I’m here to try and explain things in a way that helps them understand, whether or not they are actually interested. So periodically on The GBOAT, I’ll offer a simple and (hopefully) humorous view on sports. This is the Sportz Section.
The Golden State Warriors were a slightly dysfunctional team the past few years. They actually had a player hurt himself riding a moped. He was injured so badly he couldn’t play all season. Then he lied about how it happened. Awesome.
Because of this, coupled with the fact that they aren’t a very good team either, they fired their coach and have been searching for a replacement.
In typical Warriors fashion, they didn’t feel like looking too hard and quickly hired TV Analyst Mark Jackson.
Continue reading “Warriors Hire Mark Jackson, Say “Eh, Whatevs””
I know that many of you don’t follow the NBA but may be curious as to who to pull for in the Finals, which start tonight. I know this, because nobody follows the NBA. They may claim they do, but they’re like the guys who say they follow politics because they scan the Yahoo headlines. It’s an 82 game season, so unless you are a sports writer, you’re not going to watch a game every night. Don’t even get me started on Major League Baseball, where the next season is starting before the last one even ends.
So that’s why I’m here: so that you can properly enjoy watching the final professional basketball showdowns of the season with this well-informed, super helpful guide to the two teams involved. Continue reading “Guide to the NBA Finals”
Your Friend Joseph Craven Welcomes You To The GBOAT 