For the next few weeks, The Greatest Blog Of All Time will be running a series on the life and times of the late Steve Jobs, founder of Apple and the man who saved America from our sins of using PCs.

The motto of the American Dream is “Get rich or die trying” (copyright 2005, 50 Cent). If there is one thing that American culture values more than a heartwarming rags to riches story, it’s the story of somebody who went from rags to riches and then got fired but then got MORE riches and built any future success upon a foundation of spite. Because of this, nobody epitomizes this American spirit more than Apple founder Steve Jobs.

Truly, the story of Steve Jobs is one of overcoming adversity and failure to become overwhelmingly arrogant and stubborn successful. Truly, it is the story of a man who had the entire population of a country hanging onto his every word, and he had full control of them.

Truly, it is the story of the American Dream.

Continue reading “Steve Jobs, Pt. 1”

Since the beginning of time, mankind has been on a search for a punchline: a universal joke that can be used in any and all circumstances and will always be found funny, regardless of relevance or timeliness.

According to the Internet, which serves as our dispenser of knowledge and truth, we have found that eternal punchline: the films of Sir Nicolas Cage.

Continue reading “Nicolas Cage”

While I enjoy the final week of my Canadian summer vacation (The novelty of my American accent has rubbed off, so I’m require to leave), The GBOAT will feature Canadian themed posts. Maybe you’ll learn something but let’s be honest: you’re only skimming.

Do you remember The War of 1812? It happened 200 years ago this year, which is interesting because no American cares to talk much about the War of 1812. There are no bicentennial celebrations going on. The casual American citizen remembers that the White House was destroyed and really doesn’t recall anything else. In fact, that’s even giving casual citizens a lot of credit.

Continue reading “The War Of 1812”

As I mentioned before, things are a little bit sparse around the ol’ GBOAT these days. Hey, it IS vacation, … Continue reading Letter From Camp

Whilst I am enjoying the Canadian summer (take about twenty American degrees from whatever the temperature is where you are), The GBOAT will feature Canadian themed posts. Maybe you’ll learn something but probably not.

Canadians don’t typically get pissed off.

It’s honestly quite difficult to anger a Canadian. Not to annoy, or irritate one, like a grain of sand to an oyster. No, to totally anger a Canadian takes a highly concentrated and dedicated effort.

Or, you could just say one bad thing about Tim Hortons.

Continue reading “Tim Hortons”

Whilst I am visiting the Great White North (which is surprisingly green right now. LET DOWN), The GBOAT will feature Canadian themed posts. Hopefully raising a new level of cultural awareness will be great or something.

Canada was founded just like any other country: by a group of people going to a place that isn’t theirs and trying to take it. What makes the Canadian story unique, however, is the massive amount of time it took for Canada to finally get around to being a full fledged nation. Another primary defining characteristic was that France was SUPER interested in the region, which is never a good sign.

Continue reading “The Founding of Canada”