Author: The Joseph Craven

I'm tall, but not so tall that people point and stare.
Craven On....

The War Of 1812

While I enjoy the final week of my Canadian summer vacation (The novelty of my American accent has rubbed off, so I’m require to leave), The GBOAT will feature Canadian themed posts. Maybe you’ll learn something but let’s be honest: you’re only skimming.

Do you remember The War of 1812? It happened 200 years ago this year, which is interesting because no American cares to talk much about the War of 1812. There are no bicentennial celebrations going on. The casual American citizen remembers that the White House was destroyed and really doesn’t recall anything else. In fact, that’s even giving casual citizens a lot of credit.

The War of 1812 probably

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Real Talk

On My Best Behavior

“He’d kill then thousand people
With a sleight of his hand
Running far, running fast….”

I don’t really remember much about Luke Woodham. He was 16 years old when I was just 9. He lived just some twenty minutes away from me, in Pearl, Mississippi, but we never would have crossed paths for any reason. As far as I know, we had no mutual friends. I can’t think of a single connection between he and I, yet I will never forget Luke Woodham for the one thing he will be remembered for.

On October 1, 1997, Luke murdered his mother, then went to his high school and opened fire on his ex-girlfriend. He killed two students, injured seven others, but more importantly, sparked a chain of school shootings that the world had never seen. In the ten years following the Pearl High School shooting, events such as the Columbine and Virginia Tech shootings grabbed all of our attention like never before.

I’ll never forget Luke Woodham. He reminds me of what I can be capable of.

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Misplaced Mississippian, Real Talk

America Day

This year marks the first time I haven’t been on American soil for the 4th of July. Granted, I’m only in Canada, and even then only a little over 130 miles or so from the border. Regardless, there’s nobody around me wearing the red, white, and blue, and it’s a little bit strange.

It seems like July is just the month of choice for places to separate themselves from Great Britain, though, as Canada celebrates their own holiday on July 1st. Since Canada didn’t exactly have a clear-cut separation from Britain, like America did with the whole dumping tea into a harbor and signing a big formal paper on the 4th, Canada doesn’t really call their holiday “Independence Day” or anything like that.

What do they call it? Canada Day. Just that. Nothing more. Continue reading “America Day”

Craven On....

Tim Hortons

Whilst I am enjoying the Canadian summer (take about twenty American degrees from whatever the temperature is where you are), The GBOAT will feature Canadian themed posts. Maybe you’ll learn something but probably not.

Canadians don’t typically get pissed off.

It’s honestly quite difficult to anger a Canadian. Not to annoy, or irritate one, like a grain of sand to an oyster. No, to totally anger a Canadian takes a highly concentrated and dedicated effort.

Or, you could just say one bad thing about Tim Hortons.

It’s complicated, like a Neil Peart drumset. REFERENCE TO A FAMOUS CANADIAN WHO ISN’T ALAN THICKE!

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Misplaced Mississippian, Real Talk

Never A Dull Moment At The Border

There is a lot of talk in America about what should be done with our southern border. A lot of people think that America needs to strengthen the borders, making more of a push to stop people from illegally entering the country. Regardless of your opinion on this matter, the point it, Americans focus a LOT on our southern border.

Canada apparently jumped on this opportunity, silently and sneakily bolstering their own southern border while America had its back turned. It’s the only explanation I can think of, really, as to why an upstanding citizen such as myself would have such a hard time getting across the border that only started requiring passports some three years ago. Continue reading “Never A Dull Moment At The Border”