Author: Stanton

I'm just a boy, a boy standing in front of the Internet, asking it to love him. I drive the scary ice cream van of the Internet.
Guest Posts

About Schmidt

 
Schmidt happens.

Oh, Schmidt! If you’re not watching New Girl on Fox, then you’re missing out on one of TV’s best new characters: Schmidt.

If you’ve had more than five guy friends in your life, chances are you’ve known a Schmidt. Sure, perhaps his Bar Mitzvah theme was not  Sports Jams, maybe he wasn’t even Jewish at all, and it’s a safe bet he probably wasn’t afraid of a cat raised by birds that lived on the roof of your building, but we’ve all known a douchey brohan with a heart of gold. Continue reading “About Schmidt”

Guest Posts, Sportz

Sports – A Brief History

Craven asked me to write a guest spot for his blog, and so I figured I’d do my best to explain the origin of sports through the lens of His Story. That’s Christian talk for history.

I’ve often been accused of knowing nothing about sports, and I resent that, because I know dozens of things about sports. Drew Brees, Brett Favre, Smokey Robinson, these are all athletes. Well, two athletes and a musician, but Smokey sounds like more of a baseball name than Jackie to me. 

I think I’ve proven myself, and so I present to you: Sports – A Brief History. Thank you, thank you. 

Jazz archery never really caught on.

For as long as there have been men, there have been balls– and guys kicking them around. Sports. I’m talking about sports.

The sports of the primitives were such classics as hunting mastodons, building civilization, and impregnating women. If you weren’t good at these things, you didn’t get traded to a lesser team, you didn’t lose your contract; you didn’t end up marrying a Kardashian– you died. Life was a lot more in your face like that about things back then. Continue reading “Sports – A Brief History”

Tyrannosaurus Rex
Craven On...., Guest Posts

Tyrannosaurus Rex

A T-Rex doesn’t care about the details; a T-Rex just gets stuff done.

Today’s post is written by the wise and influential Stanton Martin! Enjoy this post? Hate it? Have a topic you want to hear about? Leave some feedback!

Tyrannosaurus Rex. The very name invokes fear, but what exactly is in a name? Anyone with the most basic background in Latin can tell you that “Rex” is the word for “king”. While the word “Tyrannosaurus” is Latin, it was derived from a combination of two Greek words. Unfortunately the literal translation was lost over time, but in today’s terms, Tyrannosaurus Rex would roughly translate: bad ass eater of kings. The T-Rex was one of the largest known land predators, measuring up to 42 feet in length, up to 13 feet tall at the hips, and up to 7.5 tons in weight. Continue reading “Tyrannosaurus Rex”