Category: Real Talk

Misplaced Mississippian, Real Talk

Dressing Like Christmas

My car has this thing that goes into the center console. I guess it’s just a tray or something, but it has dividers, so it’s more like a cafeteria tray than a normal tray. Since it’s a little odd to refer to it as “the cafeteria tray that goes in my car’s center console,” I just refer to it as “this thing.” That’s all it is. Just some thing.

That thing spent the past year in the back of my car, far from where it belongs. It had to happen, because for the past year, I haven’t had a glove box. All my normal glove box stuff went into the center console, and there just wasn’t room for the thing in there anymore. I would feel sympathetic to that poor thing, but it’s just a tray, and there are far more important things going on in the world.

For example, I’m currently sitting in a Starbucks north of Cincinnati, Ohio. Now, there are many unpleasant truths to that sentence, not the least of which being that I am stranded in Ohio, some 11 hours away from home. But it’s all for good and kind of terrifying reason:

Taking advantage of an opportunity nearly six months in the making. Continue reading “Dressing Like Christmas”

Real Talk, Useless Observation

One Year Later

On May 28th, 2011, I posted my first essay on The Greatest Blog Of All Time. It was a stupid look at the fact that we study and debate things that happened hundreds of years ago, and it set the tone much more than I expected it to. One year later, and I’ve not only made my website something that embraces the absurdity of life, I’ve gotten that way myself.

One year ago, I never would have expected that writing a blog would impact the way I view the world. I needed a creative outlet. Outside of college, I didn’t have the time to do all the stupid things that I used to in order to channel the energy I had. I couldn’t just grab a few friends and make stupid videos as easily as I used to. I figured a blog would accomplish that, and that’s all I wanted. Stanton Martin and I would joke around about becoming “Internet Famous”, because that’s totally a thing, but I had no desire to build an audience or anything. I just wanted to create something, and if people laughed, that was perfect. Continue reading “One Year Later”

Real Talk, Useless Observation

Person(a)

It’s no secret that you have to be careful on the internet. One or two seemingly minor mistakes, and then you’re on the phone trying to explain that no, you are NOT making major purchases in a former Soviet state.

The amount of personal protection or publicity that the Internet provides can go wrong, though. You can’t reveal everything about yourself, because then that information is readily available to anyone and everyone, and that’s TERRIFYING. On the other side of that, it’s really easy to hide and never reveal yourself. It’s very easy to be fake in the process. And to an extent that’s fine, but also to an extent, that’s not cool.

Between all of the talk of building a platform and finding a niche, it’s really easy to become something different. To become what you really aren’t. Instead of building a brand, you’re building a persona. Continue reading “Person(a)”

Real Talk

Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise

I love the Avett Brothers. Possibly too much, but I doubt that’s even possible. It’s like saying somebody enjoys $100 bills too much. That’s stupid.

Regardless of that fact, there is an Avett Brothers lyric that keeps bouncing around in my head. “Decide what to be and go be it.”

I like that. It’s simple. Decide what to be, and go be it. It speaks to the nature of our lives, in that we tend to complicate things. We look around at all of the nuances of this life and feel so bogged down that we worry we won’t figure it out. We wish we knew all of the answers ahead of time, when in reality, we don’t need to. We just need to decide what to be, and go be it.

It’s simple. Continue reading “Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise”

Guest Posts, Real Talk

Knox McCoy Presents “YOU GUYS: Rambling Advice From A Writer, Or Vice Versa”

The Greatest Blog Of All Time is starting April off strong, with a solid post by the one and only Knox McCoy. Knox knows a thing or two about blogging and writing. Along with his own site, he is a founding member/patient of the TV Asylum, and also author of Jesus and the Bachelorette and A Manifesto About Manifestos: A Manifesto (10 Major Rules On Writing A Manifesto), both of which are guaranteed to change your life either in a good or bad way.

Today, Knox stops by to share advice to beginner bloggers. This is all advice that he has shared with me before, and YOU GUYS….it’s worth memorizing. Ladies and gentlemen….Knox McCoy:

Note: This is an April Fool’s post constructed entirely from sentences Knox McCoy wrote in emails to me. They were removed from context, then pieced together into….this.

YOU GUYS. Let’s just talk here. Let’s just be adults. I think I’m a really obnoxious person and it’s all coming to the surface. Axe murderer would be an upgrade for my rep. This is pretty much a perfect summation of my biggest fear.

A friend of mine swears by The Keat. That is simply fantastic. I ramble too. Everyone else sends me 6 word responses and I type 83 paragraphs and feel self-conscious. Call me old-fashioned, right?

I hate the term building a brand. That’s the one bad thing about the internet. It’s a delicate balance between trying to become something, and eye-raping everyone with every thought you’ve ever had ever. Geez. Expectations, you know? Put a ring on it.

Continue reading “Knox McCoy Presents “YOU GUYS: Rambling Advice From A Writer, Or Vice Versa””