FAQ

1. Why aren’t my weeds dead yet?

Because you spent all your time typing this question, and not actually doing anything about your weeds, I would assume. A lot of really inspirational people will tell you that in order to accomplish something, you have to attempt something.

Okay, so I’m not saying that killing weeds will bring you some sort of brilliant Zen enlightenment, but you may win a neighborhood “Best Lawn” award or something, and that seems like a good first step.

2. When can my children/pets return to the treated area?

I’m not entirely sure you would want them there. It seems like a bit of a hazard. And probably illegal. Either way, if the go-to hangout spot for your children/pets needs to undergo severe treatment for something and you even think that the TREATMENT is hazardous, then it might not have been the best place for them to begin with.

Have you considered moving to a safer area, or becoming a better parent?

3. Will it kill grass?

Hypothetically, I guess anything could kill grass. Inactivity could also kill grass. Like, during a drought or something.

4. Why has it killed the grass?

Spite.

5. Can it be used on patios?

As long as there isn’t any grass involved, I guess.

6. Does it harm the soil, persist in the soil, poison ground etc..?

Could you elaborate on the etc… please? What is the next logical step here? Destroy the ground? Open a pit to hell? Start fires? Adopt a child? Offer me something to drink? And let’s just ignore the fact that I think that’s an improper ellipsis.

7. How long does it need before rainfall?

Like, before it causes rainfall? I don’t think it does that sort of thing. I could be wrong. This isn’t some magical raindance that we’re talking about here. Though, I think some scientists in Abu Dhabi know how to fertilize clouds and make them rain, so that’s pretty cool.

8. Difference between Ready to Use and Concentrate?

Umm….upbringing, perhaps? I’m willing to bet that Concentrate had a harder life growing up. Likely much rougher socio-economic situation than Ready to Use, which isn’t a bad thing, because that sort of thing has the potential to make a person a more strong-willed individual. Tougher, if you will. Bigger will to survive and to succeed.

But the difference is probably that you have to add water to Concentrate.

9. Can I put it on stronger? Will that work better?

Look, I’m not saying that it will or will not work better. I’m just saying that maybe you should be careful with it. At this point, if you’re seriously contemplating upping the strength, you could be developing a serious problem. I only say this because I care.

Questions provided randomly via the Roundup Weedkiller FAQ.

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4 responses to “FAQ”

  1. Stanton says :

    I wanted to say, “I don’t get it.” But, I do get it, and I love it.

  2. Kim says :

    Will it take the rust off the front bumper of my car if I accidentally spray it on there?

    • The Joseph Craven says :

      The website? Interesting question. Umm….I guess if you take a laptop with this webpage open and try to rub it against your bumper, then something will happen? But I don’t suspect it would be a positive change. And I sure don’t know how you would “spray” it on there seeing as how this is a blog.

      I hope this answered your question.

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