I come from a long line of brick masons and builders, which is probably why I often feel so unimportant sitting at the keyboard of a tiny laptop.
My mother comes from a small town in south Mississippi; a place where those builders in her family have been active for a long, long time. She told me this past weekend that her grandfather built the school her father attended, her father built the school that she and her siblings attended, and her brother and his son helped build the current high school. Four generations of one family, laying down the building blocks for the future of the town.
They had the blessing of physically laying blocks down. It’s rare, as we often don’t see the non-physical building blocks that we place every single day through our actions. Read More…
Chased the good life my whole life long
Look back on my life and my life gone
Where did I go wrong?
I have a theory about humanity. It’s a theory I developed over the past few months and I’m feeling pretty confident about it. But it could be wrong. Either way, I’m going to tell you about it.
But first I’m going to talk about Kanye West. Read More…
This is an unpublished draft from 2011 that I’ve now edited and uploaded. Fun stuff!
Years ago, I discovered something interesting about my body: it hates me.
It wants me to fail. It wants me to never actually be proud of any sort of appearance or accomplishment. It apparently thinks this is funny.
It could be the layer of gut that never fully goes away, no matter how much effort is put into getting in shape. It could be the countless minor allergies I have that are never life threatening, but prevent me from ever feeling what most humans call “healthy”. It could be the fact that my tiny, disproportionate ankles get rolled so frequently that we call them Brankles (broken + ankle, kids).
Or it could be the fact that I get migraines when I over-exert myself. In other words, my head wants to rupture when I actually try to do stuff. Fantastic. You can take your pick as to what stands out, but to me, this is the main example of how my body goes out of my way to keep me humble. Read More…
I like sitting on rooftops whenever I get the chance. If somebody invited me to a rooftop, I would consider dropping everything I was doing at the time to join them just because I enjoy it.
I guess I’m a sucker for a good view. There is something about a good view that is very humbling: to stand atop something tall and soak in the awe and majesty of seeing more of the world than we were able to see from the ground just minutes earlier. For maybe even just one second, until our attention spans prevent the majesty of the moment to continue inspiring us, we take the focus off of ourselves.
It wasn’t always this way for me. The love of being high above things, I mean. When I was much younger, I was so afraid of heights that I refused to climb on the playground monkey bars that these days I’m actually taller than. I still remember the day where my friends Mark and Dustin told me to just suck it up, so I did, and we all three climbed up and sat there and soaked things in. My life changed at that very moment. Now, instead of always being afraid of falling, I had a thirst to climb to the top and soak everything in.
I never looked back from that moment. Rooftops. Mountains. Ladders. Balconies. Glass elevators. I can’t get enough of being above things. Read More…
Highs are fun. Lows are not. Balance can be pretty good too, I guess.
Because of balance, I haven’t felt the need to write on this blog as much. Or maybe more specifically, I haven’t felt the need to write about depression as much. Of course, part of that is due in large part to having less of a need to share publicly about stuff, thanks to much more happening right in front of me and so many people around me to reconnect with.
I probably owe you guys an update, though, so here are some bullet points. Read More…
Excuses and reasons,
And now ’tis the season
for all that I never got right.
All that I’ve got is tonight.
The weather refuses to feel like winter. It lingers in its uniquely awkward southeastern style, sitting somewhere between cool and warm and looking overall depressing. It’s like visiting Seattle, but if Seattle was less depressed and more bipolar.
I sometimes wish that Mississippi had seasons other than “Hot” and “Not as hot”, but there is some bit of charm to be found in the few weeks we try to pass off as Autumn. The roads are accented with the bright reds and yellows of the leaves in their brief colorful time. But their struggle isn’t just against the very small amount of time the weather gives them to show off. It’s a struggle to be seen at all as they are buried behind the persistent evergreens.
Evergreens. So many of them here, keeping December green. Living year round. Read More…