Sheep (Repost)

Due to a lot of busyness outside of the blogging world (I know, so lame right?) today is a re-post of an older essay. Nobody likes a re-post, but every now and then, one must be a little bit lazy.

Be sure to come back on Friday for a guest post from Mr. Randomly Chad.

There are only a few differences between dolphins and sheep.

The first is that one lives in the water, while one lives on land.

The second is that one is smooth and eats fish, while the other is wooly and eats grass.

And the third is that one is highly intelligent, while the other is considered to be one of the stupidest animals in the world.

"His job is eating. The rest of us are supposed to stare while he eats."

What most people do not realize is that since sheep have a strong herd tendency, they only APPEAR stupid. In reality, sheep are actually just below pigs in terms of intelligence.

Which, admittedly, isn't much of a compliment.

Because of their tendency to navigate to pack leadership and influence, sheep are easily domesticated. In fact, domestic sheep easily outnumber wild sheep. Which is a shame, because while domestic sheep are nice and friendly looking:

ADORABLE

Wild sheep end up looking like this:

INTIMIDATING

If domestic sheep continued looking as awesome as the Jacob Sheep, than nobody would dare call them stupid.

So why is this theory so widely accepted? Because it appears to be true. To begin with, sheep are intensely food oriented. If there is anything nearby that even slightly looks edible, they will attempt to consume it.

Also, sheep will go wherever they are led and will get lost when not led. There doesn’t even necessarily need to be any reason they got lost. If they get even slightly separated from the pack, they tend to panic.

In fact, sheep tend to flee in the presence of danger. Or stress. Or anything. Which makes them difficult to lead around at times. Since they’re scared of everything.

"HE'S BACK GUYS AND HE LOOKS FRIENDLY! RUN!"

But that doesn’t necessarily equal stupidity. In fact, some sheep have shown problem solving skills. For example, a flock in England allegedly (key word) out smarted a cattle guard. This is a cattle guard:

Children LOVE animal cruelty

Cattle guards are put down on roads where fences can’t go, and discourage animals from crossing. This is because they’re nothing but metal bars on the ground that cattle get their hooves stuck in.

The purpose of cattle guards is clearly to make them easy targets for motorists.

But this flock in West Yorkshire allegedly (again, key word) figured out they could cross just by getting on their backs and rolling over. This was likely discovered by the awkward sheep who couldn’t walk properly.

"Don't worry, guys. I got this."

But one thing that science HAS hinted towards is that sheep can not only learn their names, but they actually have facial recognition patterns (in their BRAINS) similar to humans.

Let that fact sink in.

Ready? Keep reading:

Sheep can, and will, remember not only the faces of other sheep, but of human beings.

For YEARS.

"I know what you did last summer."

It gets worse: sheep not only recognize faces, but they can detect emotions via facial expressions. So when a sheep looks at you, he’s actually about to try and figure out how that’s workin’ for you, Dr. Phil-style.

Now while this is sort of scary to realize, it’s also helpful. Sheep are naturally friendly animals. Scientists often describe their personality as “gregarious”. And that has never been a bad word.

So the question is this: are sheep actually better friends than dogs?

This statement sent shock waves in the dog community

Think about it: besides trying to eat everything (a noticeable dog characteristic), sheep are “gregarious”, can learn their own name, will remember your face (not your smell), and will actually figure out what kind of mood you’re in.

And since they’re gregarious, they’ll probably try to juggle to make you feel better. Then try to eat your shirt. It’s adorable!

Oh by the way 8% of all sheep are gay.

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About The Joseph Craven

I'm tall, but not so tall that people point and stare.

3 responses to “Sheep (Repost)”

  1. Stephen says :

    Well. Look at the research that went into this. How…….. academic of you. You know far more about sheep than most people I know, and for that I’m thankful.

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  1. Pictures of Win: Part 44 | tylertarver.com - May 4, 2012

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